I wrote this dark prose about two decades ago.  But, as I reread it, it still very much pertains to many of our lives, especially if we are in law enforcement or have assumed the duties of shepherd for our own flock...

​My Paranoia
By Robert Wilson

 
When I leave my house, I leave with the knowledge that I can be killed, that I am not immortal.  Instruments of Evil may bring Death’s shroud of darkness to me or to those I love. I know this can happen as assuredly as if I’d already bore witness.  Evil may knock on my door on any day or any night. Someday it will.  I wait, ready for that day.

 I know I cannot avoid death but I will not let someone pull the strings of that hooded figure without my opposition.  I will not die easily.  I will not be the one who is surprised and does not fight back.  I will survive.  

 When I am happy, my work is good, my family is whole and my world is blessed—that is when I am most wary and most prepared for the evil that some bring.  I am prepared to save my family, my friends, and my loved ones.  I am willing to die, should I need to, to save any one of them.  I shall not allow someone close to me to be killed because I hold too tightly to my own life; because I am afraid of my own death.  I shall never allow my loved ones to be sent from this world by evil to save my own existence. 

 When I am warned, and I know the threat to be real and lethal to my family or loved ones, then I will act first.  I will not sit back and allow the evil to come to me.  I will meet that dark instrument, and should I need to resort to a similar evil to extinguish the intent, I will surely do so to protect those who have not the ability to protect themselves.  I shall be unmerciful with those who threaten my loved ones or my family. Should a heinous act become necessary to protect those I love, I shall do so without regret. 

When comes my time to fight such evil, I hope it is for someone worthy.  If my death be required, I pray it shall bring good for an innocent.  That is all that I shall require and without so, I will not easily release my spirit to that eternal darkness.  

​Welcome to my world...